Dude Looks Like A Lady
by MutantLover09
Summary: When Danny wishes for Vlad to get a taste of his own medicine the bachelor is in for a big surprise that teaches him a lesson he won't soon forget. Now our favorite fruit loop has to figure out what happened and how he's going to fix it.
1. What goes around

**Authors Note: **Well I got the idea for this story while listening to the song: Dude looks like a Lady by Aerosmith. Great song by the way, definitely a must hear. This is before the third season somewhere towards the end of the second one. One important thing to mention here is I'm going to do each chapter in a different POV. The first chapter will be in Vlad's then the next in Danny's. So in other words the next chapter will be the same as this in a different point of view. Whew that was a mouthful.

Summary: When Danny wishes for Vlad to get a taste of his own medicine the bachelor is in for a big surprise that teaches him a lesson he'll not soon forget. Now our favorite fruit loop has to figure out how this happened and how he's going to fix it.

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Dude Looks Like A Lady

Chapter 1: What goes around

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"Ahh," Danny Phantom cries as he is painfully blasted into a park fountain. He comes to rest in the water pieces of the fountain falling around him; the boy puts a hand up to his head where a large bruise is already forming. Daniel looks up, even though it must have hurt, and glares defiantly at me.

Who am I? Well I go by many names but you can call me Vlad Plasmius for now, I am the first human ghost hybrid in existence. And the boy below me would be the second, the reason I am beating him to a pulp is very simple. No matter how many times I try to get him to see things my way he refuses, at times like this I usually ended up teaching him a lesson in respect. But I'm sure he doesn't see it that way. If only the boy would open his eyes and see what I am offering him.

"Daniel, Daniel," I say shaking my head. "Why do you continue to defy me," I land on the ground a few feet away from Daniel, who is struggling to his feet. I don't give him time to recover and blast him out of the fountain and into a nearby oak tree. He cries out when his back collides with the trunk and falls to the ground landing heavily in the grass.

I know that was a bit of a cheap shot, but I need Daniel to stay and listen to me. And he can't do that if he runs away, one of the many things I plan to teach him once he accepts my offer.

Daniel lifts his head weakly and tries again to stand, but after a few attempts he falls onto his hands and knees breathing hard. I walk forward and grab his chin roughly, pulling it up so he can see me clearly, "It would be much easier just to listen to what I have to say."

The teen struggles in my grip but is too exhausted to pull away, "I don't care what you have to say Plasmius," he growls, green eyes burning.

I can't stop the small smirk that grows on my face; '_My Little Badger is so defiant_ _that is why I won't stop until he accepts my offer._' We are the only two half ghosts in existence why can't he just understand that he belongs by my side?

"Oh I think you would like to hear this Daniel," I say. I lean closer so I am definitely inside his personal bubble, because I know he hates that and say sickly sweet, "You might even find it…useful advice." I chuckle quietly at my own inner joke, and watch as the boy's eyes widen slightly. Sometimes I do feel guilt over the fear I instill in Daniel, I really don't enjoy punishing him. But as any good parent would say, if you don't punish your children they'll never learn.

Daniel pulls himself from my grip but as he tries to stand a white ring of light appears at his waist and transforms him back into a raven haired teenager. He groans quietly and lowers his head, water dripped from his hair and into his face. For a millisecond I feel something pull at my heart, he just looks so young and helpless. I shake my head and push the feeling away, I have to keep my bearings if I ever wanted to get what I want.

"Just leave me alone Plasmius," Daniel whispers in a raspy voice, his head lowered.

"Why would you want the only person who could possibly understand what you're going through, to leave?" I state in mock surprise, as if it had just occurred to me. Daniel's shoulders stiffen; although his head is down I know he is listening. In my mind I grin because I know I have him right where I want him, but keep my face carefully blank. Now it's time to come in for the kill. I go on casually not sounding forced, almost as if we are two old friends talking about the weather.

I sigh dramatically and turn my back on the boy, knowing he is in too much pain to try to get away. "Imagine if your parents find out what you are, if they didn't kill you out right they might just decide to dissect your remains." I can feel the boys' eyes on me and smirk slightly before continuing, "They wouldn't accept you if they found out the truth. But if you joined me I could give you something they never can."

With this I turn around a gentle understanding in my eyes, I wasn't acting as much at this point because I really do care for the boy. We are so very much alike, he is the son I'd never had. "I can give you understanding. I can give you control of your powers, and most importantly I will accept you." I let my words hang in the air; watch in glee the indecision in his eyes. No matter how much he wants to deny it he knows what I say is true.

The silence wraps around us as I wait for the boy to answer, I may not be able to read minds, yet, but I can tell he is uncertain. He looks away and I see his hands clench into the grass, his fingers digging into the dirt. I know he heard every word I said and I know he is considering them. And that thought alone makes me feel victorious my hard work is starting to pay off. After a few minutes I decide that he isn't planning on answering and come to the conclusion that I should leave.

"I see you need some time to think this over, Daniel," I say sincerely. "So I will be leaving, see you again soon, son." I lift myself into the air and turn invisible; I know he can't sense me so I wasn't planning on actually leaving. I want to see his reaction.

Daniel pulls himself onto his knees and looks around; again I am struck by how young he really is. It's hard to believe sometimes that this child is dangerous in both here and the ghost zone.

The boy groans and eventually manages to stand up leaning heavily on the bark of the tree, I see him shake his head and mutter something under his breath. I dare to float a little closer so I am just above the top of the tree and listen closer. Daniel puts a hand up to his bruised forehead and says quite loudly, "Man I wish Vlad would just get a taste of his own medicine."

I smirk and watch as he limps very, very slowly from the park. Once he is out of sight I decide it really is time for me to leave, my mission has been a success, and turning in the air headed for home. Before I have even reached the outskirts of Amity Park my internal ghost sense blares a warning at me. I halt my flight and look around, I don't see anything but my ghost sense is buzzing uncontrollably and it is never wrong. My red eyes glance anxiously around I know someone is there so why aren't they showing themselves?

Suddenly a mass of swirling purple energy pops into existence in front of me, after a few seconds it fades away to be replaced by Desiree the Wishing Ghost. "What are you doing here," I ask in surprise. I haven't had many encounters with the ghost but we have met on a few occasions. She knows of my power and I know of hers.

Desiree smirks knowingly, "I'm just doing what I'm meant to do Plasmius." She says a slight chuckle escaping from her lips making me feel a bit uneasy. Desiree and I have never gotten along well; it might be because she found me, in her words, "an attractive, big strong man." But I only have eyes for one woman in my life, and I politely let Desiree know this, unfortunately she took offense and vowed to make me wish I had chosen her.

"What are you talking about Desiree," I question really starting to feel uneasy. Even though Daniel defeated the ghost on a regular basis I know if properly motivated Desiree can be dangerous. And hurting me in anyway was good enough motivation for her.

"Don't act so naïve Plasmius," the ghost reprimands me, as she lowers her eyelids seductively. "I'm granting wishes," with this she points over her shoulder. I look and my eyebrows rise when I see she is pointing at FentonWorks and Daniel is just walking through the door. "His wish," she adds.

Daniel's words suddenly float back to me making my jaw drop open, _"I wish Vlad would get a taste of his own medicine." _

"Wait Desiree," I start throwing up my hands. I know what she is about to do but for some reason my usual quick reflexes aren't working. I can't understand why I don't just blast her with an ecto ray like I normally would have done. But all I can think of is Daniel's wish repeating over and over in my mind.

Desiree lifts her hands above her head, already glowing a deep purple, "Too late," she says in a cheerful voice. With that she throws the purple energy at me, it collides with my chest and instead of shooting me backwards it goes inside me.

Instantly I feel a searing pain rocket through my entire body, it rushes up my arms and down my legs making me feel like my blood is on fire. The only painful experience I can compare to what I am feeling now is when I became a half-ghost. I think I hear Desiree laughing maniacally but I'm not sure, and I think that I manage to drop myself into the forest on the edge of Amity Park where I collapse onto my knees, my arms wrapped around my chest. All I can hear is my pain filled cries as they echo throughout the wooded area and the blood pounding in my ears.

I don't know how long the pain lasts but finally, after what seems like hours it lessens until it completely disappears leaving only a dull throb behind. I slowly crack my eyes open expecting the sun to burn into my pupils, but amazingly the sun has already set. A moan emerges from my throat as I slowly uncurl myself from the fetal position I had been in, a thought flits across my mind and I almost laugh at how absurd it is.

'_I'm so glad Daniel isn't here to see this I would never live it down if he was_._' _Groaning I push myself onto my knees, feeling annoyed as my back pops, maybe I am getting a little old for this. Shaking the thought away, I put a hand up to my forehead and grimace at the pounding within it.

I rise unsteadily into a standing position feeling a wave of dizziness wash over me causing me to sway on my feet. I look down checking over my body, "Arm check feet check…I'm fine?" That is strange, the pain had been almost unbearable, but I'd been expecting more by the way Desiree was acting.

"But Daniel did wish for a taste of my own medicine," I mutter. '_Pain would be a taste of my own medicine, it makes sense.'_

A smug grin grows on my face as I rise into the air; that was all, I am fine. Desiree may have caused me some discomfort but as long as I am alive I'm good. I laugh out loud, my laugh being snatched away with the wind as I fly powerfully for my mansion. I am Vlad Plasmius no mere wish can hurt me.

It was about a half an hour flight back to Wisconsin and if I kept this pace up it might even take less time.

I can't believe how foolish I'd been moments before, nothing could hurt me and it was silly to think so. I chuckle again this time at Desiree she must have thought the pain would be good enough revenge and that was why she seemed so happy. Oh how I wish I can see her face now.

After a good twenty-five minutes of fast flying I see my mansion rise up to meet me, the green and gold color even visible in the dark, I sigh in content. Without slowing down I turn intangible and phase through the wall leading into my master bedroom.

My staff mostly consists of ghosts so I don't have to hide the fact that I am part ghost, it is very convenient not to have to worry. After landing in my room I change back into my human form instantly feeling exhaustion hit me like a brick wall. I stagger over to the bed kicking off my shoes, but not even bothering to change out of my suit.

'_I've got a million of them,'_ now that I think about it maybe I should get some different outfits. Pushing the thoughts away I collapse on top of the enormous green and gold bed and in seconds I am snoring lightly. Already immersed in dreams of Daniel and Maddie deciding to dump Jack and come live with me, I sigh in my sleep.

-The Next Day-

Purring. That was the sound that slowly dragged me back to consciousness; I roll away from the noise grumbling what sounds like "go away." For a moment the noise is gone but then it returns even louder than before followed by something soft rubbing against my cheek. Realization dawns on me and I groan again pushing the thing away from me, this caused the fuzzy thing to meow a protest.

"Leave me alone Maddie," I moan then pause, my voice sounds oddly different, it sounds a little higher?

'_That's odd?' _I shake away the thought it is way too early to think about that right now. I'm not a very good problem solver in the morning, especially without my morning coffee.

Meow. Mrowr. Purr.

"Fine Maddie I'm up, I'm up," I open my eyes to see my small white cat staring at me with big blue eyes, her head tilts to one side and she meows once more. I can't help but smile as I reach up to ruffle her ears, but Maddie backs away from my hand. Before I can calm her she hisses at me and leaps off my bed darting out of the room.

I stare after her confused; '_Maddie's never done that before?_'

Shaking my head I throw my legs over the side of the bed and stand up arching my back in a stretch. Strangely I feel really good, I wasn't sore like I thought I would have been after Daniel's wish. '_Obviously_ _a taste of my own medicine isn't as bad as it sounds' _I think smugly stretching out my arms. Usually I hate the morning but today, I don't know it just seems like a good day.

I yawn as I head for my master bathroom, which is also a beautiful green and gold color, shivering lightly as the cold marble tiles reach my feet even through my socks. I shuffle up to my mirror, still half asleep, and splash water into my face, enjoying as it rinses the sleep from my eyes. I reach blindly for a towel and dry my face, when I look up I freeze my mouth gaping open.

Staring back at me wasn't what I was expecting, instead of seeing a forty year old man with a white goatee I am staring into the face of a beautiful forty year old woman. She has glossy gray white hair that is thin and straight, pulled back in a pony tail with several strands falling in her face. She has light blue stone hard eyes, my eyes, set into a gorgeous face. I stare at the woman my tired mind not able to figure out the problem before me, _'She's kind of attractive,'_ I can't help but think.

I stare at the woman for, who knows how long before I finally come to my senses. _'Wait I live alone, in the middle of nowhere, with ghosts for my staff what women in her right mind would be in my house?'_

It's slightly depressing to admit this but sometimes fact is fact. Slowly but surely I force myself to stare into the eyes of the woman and almost fearfully I stick my tongue out, and the woman in the mirror sticks her tongue out as well. Panic building in my chest I lift a hand up and wave, the mirror woman waves back a frightened expression on her face. I swallow, and the woman swallows.

"Oh my god," I whisper in a high pitched tone, the words catching in my throat.

Now I realize why Desiree was in such a good mood the other day. When Daniel wished for me to get a taste of my own medicine, he wished for me to change into a woman. That is my last thought before my eyes roll back in my head and I fall backwards into the glorious realm of unconsciousness.

**Authors Note: **Hmm, I think that came out well. Poor, poor Vlad I just can't resist torturing him. I know I'm evil. The next chapter will be in Danny's POV like I said before and that's about it. Hope you enjoyed it.


	2. Comes Around

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Authors Note: **Tada, second chapter. Thanks to you reviewers! 

Dude Looks Like A Lady

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Chapter 2: Comes Around

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"Ahh," I cried as I was blasted out of the sky and into a park fountain. Pain shot up my spine when I collided with the mermaid statue causing it to break off and fall around me once I collapsed into the water.

I took a moment to just stare up into the sky sharp jolts of pain washing through me. This is my life. And everyday it just seems to get worse and worse. How's that for an optimistic attitude? A sound above me pulled my attention away from the floating clouds and back to my current predicament.

Vlad Plasmius floated over me that smug grin on his annoyingly smug face. I growled softly under my breath, my blood boiling. Oh how I hated that man.

Why, you ask, was I sitting in a puddle of water with pain rippling through my entire body and an evil self centered ghost above me? Well to put it simply I am a half ghost named Danny Fenton/Phantom, yep I've got ghost powers and yes I've obviously got enemies. The man above me being the main one. Although in human form Vlad doesn't look like much in ghost form, as he was then, he is one of the most dangerous beings in the human world and the ghost zone.

And for some reason he just loved beating me to a pulp, which he had been doing for the past twenty minutes, and I had the bruises and minor concussion to show for it. My neck was really beginning to ache from holding my head up so I put it back down and struggled to my feet, much harder than it sounded believe me.

"Daniel, Daniel," Vlad said shaking his head as he landed a few feet away from me. I gritted my teeth and ignored him putting all my focus into standing, "Why do you continue to defy me?"

I was about to tell him, 'because you are a fruit loop,' but didn't have time seeing as he raised his hand and blasted me out of the fountain with a magenta colored ecto blast. It hurt I'm not gonna lie. And worse than the pain was the sound of me crying out in a horrible pain filled scream. Because I just knew Vlad was enjoying it but I couldn't stop myself. It just hurt so badly.

The next thing I knew I was laying face first on the grass gasping in deep lungs full of air, feeling sharp stabs of pain through every fiber of my being.

I groaned weakly wondering, Why me? What did I do to deserve this? Being stupid enough to walk into one of my parents inventions didn't count as a reason. Well I did steal Tucker's last ding dong at lunch the other day. Yeah maybe that was it.

I broke out of my inner monologue and looked up to see Plasmius walking towards me casually, a walk that just screamed 'You know I'm about to kick your butt and then wait for you to recover just so I can kick your butt again and repeat the process a million more times because you can't do anything to stop me.' I really, really hated that man.

I began to pull myself back to my feet, staying in one place while fighting Vlad was a bad idea especially in plain sight. But when I tried to move my legs underneath me they wobbled and shook like jell-o. I ended up on my hands and knees my head hanging low with exhaustion, my shoulders shaking as I gasped to fill my lungs. I knew I looked pathetic (because I felt pathetic) but couldn't do anything. It was taking all my energy to just keep my head off the ground.

Someone reached down and grabbed my chin yanking it up none too gently to stare into the face of my enemy, "It would be much easier to listen to what I have to say."

I weakly fought against his grip that was making my skin crawl, but found that I was in too much pain to escape his hold let alone punch his face in like I so wanted to do. So instead I swallowed softening my scratchy throat (that had oddly started hurting after I screamed my head off, wonder why) and said, "I don't care what you have to say Plasmius." I pretty much spit the words out knowing happily that my eyes were glowing a brighter shade of green than before, at least I could manage that. I could only hope that it looked more threatening than I felt.

For some reason Vlad smirked a strange glint in his red eyes, causing me to glower even more. What the heck was he smiling about? I hadn't said anything funny or done anything amusing so what was he grinning at? Well I'm not bipolar so I'll probably never understand.

I really hoped Vlad couldn't read minds at that moment because if he could I'd be in even more trouble.

"Oh I think you would like to hear this Daniel," he purred. And then he leaned forward so he was barely a few inches away from me. He must have known much I hated it when he did that. Did he even know what personal space meant? All I wanted to do was pull my fist back and clock him square in the jaw, but right now was not the time. When I was able to stand up on my own, that would be the time. Man, I was looking forward to that.

"You might even find it…useful advice," Plasmius continued chuckling a bit at the last part.

There was something sinister about the way he did it and I felt my eyes widen in fear as a chill swept down my spine. No matter how much I tried to deny it Vlad did scare me sometimes, I knew if he wanted to he could destroy me and my family with the flip of his wrist. But the only hope I could cling to was that he still had a heart buried somewhere deep in his chest.

Anger welled up inside me, what right did he have to frighten me like that? Who did he think he was? A maniac, yes that was the word to describe him, that's what he was. Or a sociopath, that'd work too.

I pulled away from the evil man and tried to stand once more; bad idea. A white ring of light appeared around my waist and changed me back into my human form, leaving me light headed and dizzy. I hate that feeling, it's like when I was little and I'd spin around on my dad's wheelie chair and then try to walk around. That usually resulted in me walking into a wall or falling down, except this was about ten times worse.

I groaned in my throat, my already doubled vision spinning, and lowered my head again. Water dripped into my face and stung a cut across my lower lip. Trust me, nothing hurts worse the next day than a split lip especially when you tried to talk.

"Just leave me alone Plasmius," I whispered, my voice lisping slightly.

I knew I was sinking low but also knew I didn't have much of a choice. It was either beg or get my butt kicked again. And I was not sure how much more I could take, Vlad really got me good that time.

"Why would you want the only person who could possibly understand what you're going through to, leave," Vlad asked surprised.

I stiffened up when he said this; there was something else I always wanted to deny; when Vlad was right. It's true he was the only other person in the world who could understand me and I hated him for it. Although I didn't want to listen I found myself doing so almost against my will.

But I kept my head down and pretended that I wasn't paying attention, just praying that he'd go away before my emotions got the better of me. That was all I needed.

"Imagine if your parents found out what you are," Vlad continued seeming as if he really cared. He turned around so his back was facing me; I sniffed at that. He obviously didn't think I would try to get away, not that I could, but it's the fact that he wasn't worried that was annoying. "If they didn't kill you outright they might just decide to dissect your remains."

I lifted my eyes to stare at the man, my breathing becoming more ragged. How did he know that this subject hurt me? How did he know that I thought about that everyday since I got my powers, and that was why I didn't plan on ever telling my parents? How did he know exactly how to hurt me?

"They wouldn't accept you if they found out the truth, but if you joined me I could give you something they never can." Vlad turned around gentleness in his usually angry face, it was strange he seemed almost sincere; I forced my face to harden and my glare to return. "I can give you understanding, I can give you control of your powers, and most importantly I will accept you."

My face must not have been as closed as I first thought because Vlad smiled slightly looking almost hungry as if my lack of response was as good as a juicy steak to a hungry dog. I didn't want to consider his words but somehow they filtered through the brick wall I erected around my mind.

_He's right,_ a voice whispered in the back of my mind. _You know what he says is true._

'Yeah but he's also insane,' the resilient part of me countered.

_Is the truth insane?_

'Right now yes.'

_You're not thinking logically, Vlad is offering you something great. You should consider what he's saying. _

'The day it starts raining Nasty Burgers is the day I'll join Vlad,' I shot back happy to hear the other voice back down.

"I see you need time to think this over, Daniel," Vlad said in what he probably thought was a sincere tone but actually came out snidely. "So I will be leaving, see you again soon, son." With that the man turned invisible and I felt his dark presence leave me. I sighed in relief not even having the energy to be annoyed that he called me 'son.' (Though I was annoyed believe me.)

'_He's gone,_' that was all I could think. How I hated that horrible man, every time he came around he managed to twist everything I knew and believed so much that I barely knew what I believed anymore.

My joints were stiff I soon learned as I stood leaning heavily against the tree I'd crashed into earlier. Some of the bark was missing and I could take a pretty good guess as to where it was, it rhymes with cy lack. I shook my head grimacing as I thought of how bad I was going to feel the next day.

"Great some more bruises to add to the collection," I muttered pushing myself slowly away from the tree. I swayed unsteadily for a moment but regained control before I did a face plant into the ground, again, that would have been just perfect. More fury rose up in me after feeling the large bump on my forehead just above my left eye. It was about the size of one of Vlad's knuckles but still hurt like hell.

What did I do to deserve this It was like I had an 'If you like beating up people weaker than you aim here,' sign on my back big enough for everyone to see. And if Vlad wasn't bad enough just the other day I'd gotten beat pretty badly by a gang of Walker's guards trying to drag me back to the ghost prison. My arm still ached painfully from having it wrenched behind my back by Walker himself.

Why can't everyone just leave me alone

Maybe I was whining but I didn't care I just needed someone to blame for what I was feeling: helpless, confused, and sick to my stomach all because of Vlad. Every time he came around these feeling welled up inside me. Oh how I wished I could make him feel the same way. Just once I would love to see Vlad in my position, not knowing what to do and looking for someone to help him, feeling weak and helpless and confused. And for me to be there to laugh at his pain like he'd done to me so many times before.

A part of me said I shouldn't be thinking like. A part of me said it wasn't a hero's way to wish for bad things to happen to others. But the part of me that was angry and scared told the other to shut its pie hole. Vlad deserved something anything bad to happen to him. After all he'd done to me, heck I'd have even taken him getting a bad hair day.

"Man, I wish Vlad would just get a taste of his own medicine," I hissed. Yeah it was a bit childish, but guess what I was a kid but really what would wishing do? Oh well it was out of my mouth and maybe, just maybe it'd actually happen. But what were the chances of that happening right?

I shook my head at my pathetic thoughts and start shuffling towards the exit of the park, limping heavily even on the soft grass. I hurt everywhere. It felt like I'd gotten beat by a bunch of angry baseball player with a grudge against ghosts.

That last thought caused me to only see red; it covered my vision staining everything in its vile color. Seething didn't even come close to how I was feeling. Pure unbridled fury was more like it. Vlad had pushed me around since the day I met him. He'd gone out of his way to confuse and hurt me in more ways than one, and the worst part was I couldn't do anything about it. The man was always two steps ahead of me and just enjoyed toying with me.

I couldn't tell if my anger was linked to the pain I was feeling in my stinging back or the pain at knowing that I'd actually listened to what Vlad said.

What he said was true I knew he would accept me because he already accepted me, but the man was a lunatic. He was a villain, he broke the law to get what he wanted and even worse he wanted to kill my dad. How could I possibly just let that slide by and look the other way? I'd be worse than Vlad if I did.

I would take keeping my alternate identity a secret from my parents, for the rest of my life before I'd join that fruit loop. Sure my parents had their…defaults but they're still my parents and I loved them, even if they wouldn't accept me.

That caused me to shiver even in the heat of late afternoon, would they accept me? I pushed the vile thought away the last thing I needed was more emotional trauma, but mostly because I was afraid of the answer. I'm sure they would…right? They're my parents how could they not? Oh I really, really, really hate Vlad now.

When I looked up again, my vision back to normal, I found I'd made it home and my shoulders sagged even more.

It was time to confront the parental units and I wasn't looking forward to it, mostly because this was the third time that week I'd come home hurt. And I was running out of excuses for how it happened. I took a moment to come up with the lie and fix myself up as much as possible before, taking a deep breath and walking through the door.

-Later That Night-

I was right, mom and dad didn't take the; 'I fell into the fountain at the park' excuse very well. But after many "I'm fine's" and some psychological mumbo jumbo from Jazz, I was able to sneak away upstairs and into the bathroom. I cleaned up as best I could and limped into my bedroom tired beyond all belief.

Amazingly I was able to make it to the bed before exhaustion became too much and my legs buckled beneath me, I fell forward onto the mattress and laid there for a moment. Just staring at the far wall and trying to shut my mind down.

'_You've got to move sometime your arms gonna fall asleep,' _the annoying voice started again.

'Actually I don't _have_ to do anything,' I countered but rolled onto my back all the same. The last thing I wanted was to have another conversation with myself, it could be a little awkward at times. If you've done it you know what I mean.

As I pulled the covers over my lithe frame, grumbling quietly, I felt a strange feeling rise in my chest.

It was as if I had just accomplished something I'd been trying to for a long time. Like when you have a big assignment for school and you get it done early and then you sit back knowing it was a job well done. Why I was having this feeling now? Not that I wasn't enjoying it, it was just weird timing.

For some reason I felt a smirk slide across my face, my hands came up to cushion my head, I liked this feeling it felt right somehow. "Huh I wonder if this is how it feels to actually finish your homework," I mused jokingly. The feeling stayed making my smirk turn into an all out grin, when was the last time I smiled like this

The stray thought caught me off guard and my smile faltered a bit, when was the last time I felt this way? It had been a long time, I actually didn't even remember. My life had been hectic, more ghost attacks than usual mixed in with the end of the year tests was just an equation for trouble.

Now that I thought about it I hadn't spent much time with Sam and Tuck lately. I bet they were a little angry at me.

"I better apologize tomorrow," I said under my breath. I could already imagine the cold shoulder I was bound to receive and grimaced slightly, Sam and Tucker could be brutal sometimes. But I knew how lucky I was to have such good friends; I didn't know where I would be without them.

A humongous yawn rose in my throat and I settled back into my pillow forcing all thoughts from my mind. I knew it was the only way I'd be able to get to sleep. I shut my eyes tight and curled up on my side that strange feeling returned and it began to lull me to sleep. For the first time in a long time things felt like how they were supposed to.

**Authors Note: **Bet ya can't guess what Danny's so happy about. Well maybe you can…I hope so. The next chapter is where the fun begins, hmm less fun for Vlad and more so for Danny. Thanks to those of you who read this and thanks to those of you who are going to review. And yes, I know this is a lot like the first chapter but it's from a different point of view. The next chapter will be in Vlad's so hope you're looking forward to it.


	3. Reality?

ML: Not much to say except this is where the fun begins. Thank you reviewers hope you're all enjoying it! Vlad's POV.

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Dude looks like a lady

Chapter 3: Reality?

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I was floating in darkness. I vaguely felt something hard and stiff underneath me, something cool to the touch. Funny, I didn't remember getting out of bed. I heard a low groan and distantly realized it was from a woman. That was odd. Wait a minute, I did get out of bed, and then I went into the bathroom and saw something then passed out.

Waking up from passing out is never a joyous occasion. First your head hurts. Actually, I take that back, first it pounds as your senses slowly come back to you. I've always noticed that my taste comes back first, my mouth tasted all coppery, like I'd been sucking on a penny for the past hour. Then I heard a high keening sound that made the skin on the back of my neck prickle, it was coming from me. But why was it so high pitched? Eventually I was able to move and rolled onto my side and just breathed in and out before my eyes fluttered open.

I was indeed sprawled out on the hard cool floor of my master bathroom next to the green and gold Packers rug beside the shower. Now I was confused. I rolled fully onto my knees but paused in standing, my hands, they were really…small? That jumped started my memory and I gasped out loud, a very feminine gasp.

I jumped to my feet and stared wide eyed at the mirror. The same woman stared back at me with a confused expression on her face. It was me, the woman was me. My stomach turned uneasily and I rushed to the toilet and heaved up my lunch from the day before, bending over the porcelain, my shoulders shaking.

I don't know how long I was there but eventually I stopped heaving my wheaties and sat back on my heels, rubbing a hand across my face. How did this happen? The sound of the toilet flushing mixed with my desperate gasps for breath was truly sickening.

I scrambled to my feet and washed my mouth out with sink water before letting it pour over my head and down my neck. I cringed when I caught sight of my reflection again, and felt bile rise up in my throat.

"Cheese logs," I whispered harshly, slamming my fists against the counter. I winced and rubbed my sore hands, _Curse Desiree! How did she interpret Daniel's wish into this?_ How was _this_ a taste of my own medicine? She would pay for doing this to me.

I spun away from the mirror calling forth my ghost half but …nothing happened. I froze, a confused look coming across my face, this had never happened before. I tried to change again with the same result. When I tried to change the black rings appeared around my waist but fizzled out within seconds.

"What," I tried again but ended up with the same result, except this time I felt light headed and had to lean against the wall to stop myself from falling. No, no, no, no this couldn't be happening! I held my hands up and willed pink energy into my fingers.

Nothing happened, except a small pink spark that danced between my fingertips before disappearing into the air. A number of curse words ran through my mind but I settled with one. "Fudge buckets," that sounded odd coming out in a woman's voice. Actually that sounded odd all around, but I'd been saying it too long to change now.

"Alright, alright Plasmius just think," I moaned placing my elbows on the counter top and my head into my hands. "My ghost powers don't work, I'm a…woman, and it's all Daniel's fault," I ticked off, rage leaking into my voice.

I looked up at my reflection before turning my head away in disgust. Usually when I got angry my eyes would change from light blue to a deep blood red. But now, even though I was fuming, they stayed the same cold blue.

"Butter biscuits," I snarled, storming out of the bathroom and into my bedroom. I usually don't get so angry so easily. Normally, I was pretty reserved, unless I got around that oaf of a man Jack Fenton. I wondered why I was feeling so emotional now, instead of thinking logically like I usually did in tight situations.

Well, women did have a sort of hormonal imbalance, didn't they? I mean, that was why they would be angry one moment then happy the next… Wait, why was I thinking about this? I was not a woman. I only looked like one.

Oh my, this was a very, very strange thought process.

I realized I was pacing and immediately stopped and sat down heavily on my mattress. "Ok, Masters think. Use that o'l gray matter of yours," I lowered my chin onto my palm. My cheeks prickled with unease when my silvery hair fell into my face and I pushed it away trying to think clearly.

I was doing my best to scrape together all the knowledge I had on Desiree. I knew she granted wishes, and that her wishes mostly came out worse for the wisher. And I also knew that if you wanted to un-wish something only the person who made the wish could do it. So even if I did find Desiree it would do me no good. In my vulnerable state she could easily destroy me with a flick of her wrist. That meant that Daniel would have to…

_For the love of cheese, why must I be tortured?_ If the fact that I was a woman wasn't' bad enough, now I had to go groveling to Daniel to change me back! Not that the little brat would anyway. After seeing me in this form he'd probably laugh his little adolescent head off. There was no way he would help me.

I looked down at my hands sitting in my lap. Unable to notice, as well, the slight bulge in my chest area, that I was sure wasn't there yesterday. A blush crept into my cheeks and I closed my eyes, I had to at least try to get Daniel to un-wish the wish. There was no way I'd be able to stay like this for ever, let alone an hour. Maybe with the proper blackmail I'd be able to-

A chilling sensation stopped my train of thought and I shivered as the cold swept up my spine. It stopped with a tingling feeling, at the base of my neck. I knew that feeling anywhere: it was my ghost sense. Of course I had a ghost sense, just because Daniel couldn't see it doesn't mean I do not have one.

But that was the least of my worries at the moment, I could tell who it was just by feeling their ecto signature and it was probably one of the last ghost's I would ever want to see at that moment.

I jumped off the bed and ran towards the wall, my only way to escape unnoticed. As I jumped through the air I tried to will myself intangible. But as you probably have guessed my powers weren't working, so I ended up ramming my nose straight into the unforgiving wall.

Apparently my nose was more delicate as a woman because it hurt incredibly badly! I stumbled away from the wall holding my nose, which I was sure, was broken in at least three places.

"Butter brittle," I screamed, tears forming in the corners of my eyes. Ordinarily I had a high pain threshold, so to say the least; I wasn't prepared for the rush of pain bombarding my senses.

"Plasmius, is that you?" A deep robotic voice sounded uncertainly from outside my bedroom door. After the mornings events I had completely forgotten about my meeting with Skulker set for today. He usually came over to discuss odd jobs I'd have him do in exchange for weapons. He was actually a very useful partner, though his fascination with hunting could be a little endearing at times.

I froze in place, still holding my throbbing nose with both hands. The last thing I wanted was for Skulker to see me…like this. He would most likely lose all respect for me if he did. And it really was more convenient for me having a loyal ally. So, as much as I didn't want to, it looked like I was going to have to explain my situation to Skulker.

"Kill me now," I whispered the pain in my nose subsiding, though it still ached. It was just less obvious than before. I walked over to my large bedroom door and threw it open, coming face to face with a very surprised Skulker. When the hunter ghost saw me…well me as a woman, he took a step back startled.

"Uh, oh um," the ghost stuttered. His mouth hung open for a moment and I could just guess what he was thinking.

_What is this woman doing in Plasmius's bedroom? Unless he and she were-_

I glowered at him and he seemed to come to a decision because he set his face into a scowl and raised his arms menacingly. "Beware, for I am Skulker, the Greatest Hunter in the ghost zone! Uh, fear me," he shouted.

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow at his theatrics. "Since when did you start quoting the box ghost, Skulker?" I questioned lazily. The look of shock on his face almost made me laugh out loud, but I held it back only letting a small smirk cross my face.

"You're not afraid of me?" Skulker asked, looking truly puzzled as he lowered his arms.

Then I did laugh as I shook my head, "You're not exactly menacing Skulker." I told him honestly.

Skulker looked stunned for a moment before scowling darkly and he raised his arm at me. A large glowing gun popped out of his forearm, pointing right at my forehead. "Now are you afraid, human?" He growled, the glow from the weapon casting some of his face into shadow. "Tell me where Masters is before I have to use force."

The smirk slowly left my face and I uncrossed my arms, taking a deep breath. I was never going to live this down, "Skulker." I started, pausing to build up my courage before forging on. "This is going to sound crazy but I am Vlad." I bit my lower lip, just waiting for his reaction.

Skulker stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into loud obnoxious laughter. He retracted his weapon and held his midsection bending over to gasp for breath, "Y…you said you're Plasm- ha-ha-ha!"

I resisted the urge to clonk him over the head because: A) it wouldn't help the situation. And B) it would most likely hurt my hand.

"That's good human but," Skulker stood back up, wiping a nonexistent tear from his robotic eye. "You can't be Vlad."

I released a breath of air in an exasperated sigh, this was getting annoying. I didn't know how much patience I had left. The only way I could convince him was if I used my powers, but I was pretty sure that I couldn't do that.

I clenched my hands into fists and willed pink energy into my palms. Nothing happened at first, but I narrowed my eyes in concentration and forced all other thoughts from my mind, only focusing on creating just a flash of ecto energy.

After what seemed like forever a tiny sphere of pink energy burst into life above my palm, I held it for a moment before the strain became too much and it disappeared into nothing. When I looked up, once again, Skulker was staring at me with a dumbfounded expression, "Now do you believe me?" I demanded, panting slightly from the exertion of using my powers.

"Plasmius?" Skulker asked slack jawed. "Why are you- how did you-?" He trailed off still staring at me as if I'd sprouted a second head… not that that's ever happened before or anything.

"I don't know Skulker!" I ran a hand through my hair that had long since come undone from my usual pony tail. It was hanging in my face, reaching down to my shoulders and felt extremely annoying. "I woke up this morning like this and I can't use my powers." I backed away from him and began to pace with my head down.

I could feel Skulker's eyes on me but didn't look up. Truthfully, I was too embarrassed to see his reaction. I did, however, look up when I heard what distinctly sounded like a covered up snort.

Skulker was staring at me with his hand stuck in his mouth, in attempt to smother his laughter. His shoulders shook with the effort. "You…ha-ha- you're a-a…snort-a female!" Before I could respond Skulker bent down with his hands on his knees and fell into a long, loud bout of laughter.

I stared at him, hands slowly clenching into fists. I felt anger well up inside turning everything red. I hated it when people laughed at me. After years of having ecto-acne you could understand why.

The more Skulker laughed the angrier I got and soon I felt a hot sizzling begin in the palms of my hands. I glanced down and saw pink energy flare to life in my palms. Without thinking, I fired the energy at the chuckling hunter ghost. The blast knocked Skulker out of my doorway and into the far wall behind it, causing a picture frame to fall off the wall and crack across the ghosts' head.

I stalked up to him, energy still leaking out of my hands. I didn't know why my powers had suddenly started working, but I was too ticked off to care. I leaned down into Skulker's face and snarled, "If you ever laugh at my expense again, so help me Skulker, you won't live long enough to regret it!"

Skulker rubbed his head gingerly, his expression shocked. "I thought you said your powers weren't working."

I took a step back, inspecting my hands thoughtfully. As my anger went away so did my ecto-energy. That was odd. Maybe my powers weren't gone, but I just had to find a different way to control them. But that sounded ridiculous… right?

I shook my head slowly, "I lied." I said steadily, lying again of course. If I wanted to get Skulker's help I would need him to respect me, and he wouldn't do that if he didn't fear I'd beat him to a pulp. That would be a piece of Plasmius logic, get used to it.

I stepped away again and rubbed a hand against my chin, the skin felt smooth and soft. And I frowned, missing the feeling of my rough goatee. _This will take some getting used to,_ I thought and stopped rubbing my chin. I looked back at Skulker, who had long since recovered from my attack, and was standing tense, as if waiting for another ecto-blast to the face.

I waved a hand at him, "Please Skulker I'm not going to fire at you again, so stop acting like I am." He seemed to relax a little and I walked back into my bedroom, going over to my walk in closet. I opened the door and walked inside, scanning my many outfits. Most consisted of my usual black suit red tie combo, but a few towards the back were a little more casual.

I.e sweat pants, t-shirts and even a few sneakers. I reached up and snagged a pair of black sweat pants and a blue shirt. I could feel Skulker's eyes on me and I turned to glare at him pointedly. "Oh," he said, looking embarrassed. "I'll just stand over there."

I rolled my eyes and began to strip of my clothes before stopping, a disgusted look coming across my face. I was no pervert. And looking at my body as it was, seemed slightly perverted. "Desiree, you are going to wish you'd never met me," I growled and closed my eyes pulling my shirt off.

I kept my undershirt on and slipped the blue tee over it then pulled the sweat pants on quickly. They hung off my slim waist and nearly fell so I tightened the draw string, scowling. If I wasn't skinny enough before, I certainly was now. Lastly I put my hair back up into a pony tail and stalked out of the walk-in closet.

Skulker was standing awkwardly across the room examining a picture as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. I cleared my throat and the ghost jumped, turning around with a startled expression. "Come on," I jerked my head in the direction of the hallway.

I started walking with my hands clasped behind my back and could just feel Skulker's presence as he followed me. I would never get tired of people following my orders.

I walked down the large staircase in the main hall, heading towards my lab. It looked like I was going to take a trip to Amity Park.

ML: -giggles- I had too much fun writing this chapter. And don't worry it's rated K for a reason. There will be no mentions of Vlad's new … well you know. Next chapter's in Danny's POV.


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